Shawn’s Story

For most of my life, I worked toward one goal: earning the title of United States Marine. One of my earliest vivid memories is from when I was four years old, watching the Twin Towers fall on September 11. My grandparents and sister were in New York at the time, and I remember feeling devastated. Not long after, I saw a newspaper headline that said “President Bush Declares War.” After my mom explained war to me in terms I could understand as a child, I told her I wanted to be a Marine. In my mind, if terrorists had the power to hurt my family, then serving my country would be my way of fighting back.

Despite the odds and despite people telling me I would never make it, that dream became a reality in October 2016. I successfully completed the Crucible, the final test of Marine Corps recruit training. It is a grueling event consisting of three days, twenty five obstacles, four MREs, and a twenty five mile march. That is where you earn the title and hear the words Marine for the first time. I finished with two sprained ankles and my first in service traumatic brain injury from a three on one pugil stick obstacle. Pugil sticks are used to teach hand to hand combat and aggression under pressure.

In 2017, while in the fleet, I suffered my second traumatic brain injury. The fleet is where a Marine goes after completing training and joining their assigned unit. At the time, I was preparing for a workup tied to Syria, the South China Sea, and Norway. That injury changed everything. I had to learn how to walk and talk all over again. In January 2018, I was honorably discharged from the Marine Corps.

That discharge broke me.

I had spent my whole life fighting to become a Marine. I had to prove teachers, peers, family members, and even recruiters wrong. I had been told I would never make it, and when my military career ended the way it did, my mind immediately started telling me that maybe they had been right all along.

I turned to the VA for help. I went seeking counseling and mental health support, but instead of being met with understanding, I felt dismissed and laughed out of the office. After that, I did what many transitioning veterans in the Midwest do. I went to work in the oil fields.

That also ended badly. I was fired after breaking company policy in order to save a coworker’s life. He was in danger during drilling operations, and I stepped in to hold up a dog line post so we could secure our harnesses and keep him from being killed. The issue was that I had climbed above three feet without being tied off. A safety officer measured the spot after I got down and told me it was three feet one inch. That one inch cost me my job.

After that, I relocated to South Dakota for a change of scenery and to spend more time with my girlfriend, who is now my wife. I could not hold a job. Between 2018 and 2019, I went through six jobs. Eventually I got into fiber optic construction. The selling point for me was simple: as much overtime as I wanted. Since I was barely sleeping anyway, I threw myself into work and started logging one hundred to one hundred ten hours a week. When I was not working, I was drinking. That cycle went on for about four months.

In August 2019, after pouring gasoline on all of my mental health struggles, everything came to a head. 

That is when my life started flashing before my eyes and I attempted to end it all.

In the ICU, one of my nurses was an Army veteran. He saw my Eagle, Globe, and Anchor tattoo on my chest and told me he was going to be my guardian angel. I only remember bits and pieces from that time.

It is hard to describe what it feels like to go to sleep and wake up days later surrounded by machines, tubes, and alarms. In that moment, I made a decision - being alive was my second chance, and I was not going to waste it.

My first thoughts were practical. I asked for my phone so I could pay my bills, call my boss, and make sure my girlfriend had money for food and whatever the family needed. I was told all of that had already been taken care of. About ten minutes later, doctors, surgeons, specialists, and staff came in and asked how I was doing. My answer was simple: what do I need to be able to do on my own before I can be discharged?

They tried to slow me down and told me to take it easy, but I pushed back. I told them I needed a mission. I needed something to work toward. Without that, I could not promise how long I would stay motivated. After only a few weeks, I was discharged from the hospital much sooner than they expected.

After that, I spent another month in an inpatient psychiatric unit at the Denver VA. Honestly, that was one of the worst decisions of my life. I often felt like a burden to the staff. The nurses had to manage my wound care, wrap my face, and give me pain medication, but there were delays verifying my prescriptions, so I went two days without pain medicine. The pain was unbearable. When it came time for my follow up appointment one month after the incident, I was discharged because the facility would not allow me to attend the appointment and return.

That experience added another layer of hurt. I was already judging myself. I felt judged by others. Then I felt judged by the very professionals who were supposed to help me.

Still, even in those darkest moments, there were people who treated me with dignity and compassion. Some staff members and fellow veterans took the time to hear my story, and their respect helped me begin seeing something different in myself. They did not see me as weak. They saw someone who had survived. They saw someone who still had a purpose.

Over time, I began thinking about the future. I thought about one day having kids. I thought about what I would say if they ever told me they were struggling. I knew I wanted my story to be more than pain. I wanted it to become proof that there is a way through. I wanted my second chance to mean something. I wanted to show that healing does not happen overnight, but that goals, purpose, and support can help carry you forward.

That is how I live now. Every day I wake up, I remember that I am still here for a reason.

Because of that, I challenge people to do three things.

First, find a hobby. Get good at it. Then find another one. Purpose matters, and healthy outlets matter.

Second, if you see someone struggling, do not ignore it. Distract them if needed. Sit with them. Be a safe person. Sometimes helping someone means taking them camping, hiking, hunting, or just getting them out of their own head for a while.

Third, support them without forcing them. Do not make someone talk before they are ready. Let them open up on their own terms. Keep inviting them. Keep showing up. Encourage them to set goals for themselves, no matter how small.

My story is not just about pain. It is about survival, purpose, and the responsibility we all have to look out for each other. I am here because I got a second chance. I share my story so others know they are not alone, that struggle does not make them weak, and that there is still a path forward even when life feels impossible.

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Wyoming Suicide Prevention and Intervention Resources

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This campaign was built through community support, shared purpose, and the generosity of people who donated their time, creativity, and expertise to help bring these stories to life. It truly takes a village to change the conversation around suicide, and we are deeply grateful to the individuals and organizations who helped make this effort possible.

Campaign Lead

 PROSPER Together     

Suicide Prevention and Intervention Training Free for Wyoming Residents. In-person and virtual training sessions are funded through Governor Gordon’s WY We Care campaign.

https://www.prospertogether.net/events                                                                                            

Sponsors

 Governor Mark Gordon - https://governor.wyo.gov/

Wyoming Association of Sheriffs and Chiefs of Police (WASCOP) - https://www.wascop.com/

Yesco - a century-old family-owned business that specializes in crafting custom business signs, digital displays, and (billboards). yesco.com                   

Key Contributors

Strategic Communications: Julie Sun, Kindle Causes LLC - https://www.linkedin.com/in/juliehsun/

Photography: Astri Wee Photography - https://astriwee.com/

Creative Direction and Design: Paul Gormont, Apertures, Inc. - https://www.linkedin.com/in/paul-gormont-4595806/